Marriage – Skirtingroundmylife

Belle Of The Ball

There is no escaping the fact that I’ve been inspired by LGBTQ History Month, so inspired in fact that I’ve written this poem on topic of dancing especially to commerorate the event. I’ve deliberatly written it from the point of view of two mature women one of whom may be a transwoman, becoming romantically involved after meeting at a dancing class. I’ve given it the title Belle Of The Ball I hope you enjoy the read.

Belle Of The Ball

my partner birls me round the floor
I’m feeling apprehensive
she told me relax
as she takes me in hand
and whispers something io
says she knew that I was just the right type
she would teach the steps and the twirls
from that moment on
I gave her my trust
I knew she liked dancing with girls

Of course she’d been married
for most of her life
the respectable types
always are
she knew she liked women
she had since her teens
though she thought it a step too far
as she taught me to waltz
as a women should do
and to tango the
Argentine way
we kissed under stars
and got in to the grove
our desires had come to play

she told me her daughters encouraged her
to take up dancing lessons
the youngest one said she should talk to the priest
and maybe start going to confession
it’s just in case you meet a man
who gets you all excited
or maybe do what Katie did
like kiss a girl and like it.

my dancing partner smiled at the thought
as her youngest daughter blushed
I’ll just see how it goes she said
and enjoy some fun filled lust
her daughters thought that we were friends
until they saw us kiss
in ways that only women know
we shared some midnight bliss

She told them all it’s my time now
it’s time to take a chance
your dad would be so proud of the fact
I taught this girl to dance
he knew I had my tendencies
and the passions I kept at bay
he said that I should dance with girls
if that was nature’s way

As its if he was giving his blessing
she told me as we danced
she’d waited all her life for this
we had to take the chance
a woman knows what a woman knows
and she knew what to say
I felt like the belle of The ball that night
and we danced to the break of the day

Pioneer

In this poem I celebrate the life of April Ashley. April for those who don’t know, made history by becoming the first person to ever undergo gender reassignment surgery. I’ve given it the title Pioneer, I hope you enjoy the read

Pioneer

You paved the way
for girls like me
to be women
your name of choice
selected to illustrate
the transformative change
which takes place when winter winds retreat
to be replaced by the first days of spring.

you were a woman
who wasn’t allowed to be a girl
because of the times you grew up in
a child of the inter war years
people feared those like you
a pioneer who wanted just to be herself .

after your operation
you married well
mixed in influential circles
yet those who sought wealth and power
cut the root from your life
declaring you were never a wife
nor were you legally wed
because of what your birth certificate said
misgendering you as they did it
not understanding
you were a pioneer
who accepted no limits
that others would rigidly impose on your desires
they couldn’t extinguish your fire

you made liars of hypocrites
you knew
who walked the highest of society’s corridors
and lived in places where gold cards met golden gates
to create a fortress
for those who could afford it
try as you might
you couldn’t ignore the map that nature had planned

though it was Caroline who would bring me
to an understanding of myself
through her I would learn of you see
the pioneer who sought to change the world
who chose the name April
to illustrate
that you could be
the change you wanted to be in the world
and made it a safer place for girls like me to blossom into ourselves

Language Of The Times

In this poem I travel back to the mid to late 1970’s as I look at why my youth was a challenging time for a trans teen who knew I was but also know what the world could and couldn’t accept as I reluctantly played by the rules. I’ve titled it Language Of The Times I hope you enjoy the read

Language Of The Times

In the 70’s tough talk was
the language of the times
my dad called me half pint
I think he must have known
all was not as it seemed
for a troubled teen tormented by biology
liking things I wasn’t supposed to like
wearing tights and frilly knickers under trousers
would make a social leper of me
to testosterone fuelled boys
who enjoyed teasing anyone who didn’t fit the bill

I got on better with girls
and was more at home
in secretarial studies
than woodwork or technical drawing
and knew the value
of accessorising lingerie
long before I was allowed to wear anything flattering.
my mother had rules
both in school and at home
there were things that nice girls don’t do
so she told me if I wanted to live a girl’s life
then I needed to learn how to be a wife
and not be so rebellious
and yes sex which I should avoid until legally wed
even though I thankfully couldn’t get pregnant
would be sore
once a night to start with then eventually
twice a week and no more
it was a duty to be endured not a pleasure to be enjoyed
as for my teens there would be no kissing boys
as it would interfere with homework and studies
and time to read women’s magazine
to teach me what I needed to be taught

not that such chances ever came up in those days
when songs of praise was her idea of Sunday night TV
well there was one boy in my class I really liked
though I never got the chance to invite him to dinner
at least he was spared the ordeal
of meeting the family
in the days when sexuality was never discussed
but I blushed on seeing the Bay City Rollers on top of the pops.

the I like them because they’re Scottish
never did quite wash
especially so soon after loving the Osmonds
and the dad who called me half pint
knew more than he let on
though he never teased me about my taste
or asked what one I fancied
he knew a lady never tells
even years later there are certain things a woman keeps to herself
or only shares with girls
and what happened at the high school disco
will remain a secret between her and the boy
with whom she shared that special moment
I know she will take to the grave

Seduced

As this is Burns Night and the world will be toasting the health of our national bard I thought this poem should examine the faults and flaws which made Robert Burns the man he was. I make no appologies for tackling this poem from an unashamedly female perspective nor for openly admitting why I would have fallen for his charms had I had the chance. I’ve given it the title Seduced I hope you enjoy the read

Seduced

Seduced by his roguish good looks

many women fell into his arms his ability with words

could charm anyone he liked

a pioneer for the rights of ordinary people

his flirtatious nature and womanising ways

led to condemnation from the kirk

who told those in the pews

of the dangers of the demons

drink and fornication

and warned them that hell awaited

those who indulged in intimate relations

outside the marriage bed

not that this stopped Rabbie

in his wandering

trust me ladies this guy

had a roving eye that put Casanova to shame

fron bedrooms to barns

he’d find a lass to keep him warm

in the warmest and coldest of seasons

a farmer he planted seeds all over Ayrshire and beyond

it has to be said he was fond of the lassies

and held sex education classes

in the way he thought nature intended

now some will say it was just his way

whilst others will claim it was his shame

to treat women with less respect than men

and that this was sexism which can’t be disguised

no matter how good his poems and songs may be

I would tend to agree with the latter assessment of his character

and admit that the farmer’s boy had flaws

just like the rest of us

though god knows I would have been seduced by his flattery

if he had wanted a night in the barn

From Dad To Diana

This poem is one of the most personal I have ever written. It is based on meeting an old friend from my university days and attempting to imagine how she would explain my transition to those of our friends that she still keeps in touch with from those times. I have of course made a few demographic changes to make it more like a poetic story and more relatable to the reader but believe me this poem is more semi autobiographical than it may first appear. I’ve given it the title From Dad To Diana as suggested by my friend and fellow blogger Charlotte Dougall I hope you enjoy the read.

From Dad To Diana

He was always the brainbox at school

sensible played by the rules

kept himself smart

buried his head in the books

went to university got a degree in geography

that was his route out of poverty

moved from the scheme to the west end

married well found a woman

who let him express his feminine side

she was an architect if I remember right

I met him in town with his three daughters

it had been over 20 years since graduation

he was now she and all dolled up

she said she was living full time as a woman

told me it made her feel more human

and the lassies are cool with her switching

from dad to Diana

the youngest said the name suits her

it let’s her be herself and she’s happier now

than she’s ever been

it’s such a shame she had to live with this secret

since her early teens

I had always wondered why

she had dressed as a woman at Halloween

and smiled more than she did

for the rest of the year

I see it clearer now

it was the only night

she could really be herself.

and when all else is said and done

she deserves to have the fun

that Cyndi Lauper sang about time after time

in the years when she should have been dancing

Distractions

In this poem I relate a very personal experience which is the common lot of transwomen. Believe me I’ve lived the story

I’m narrating here far too many times for my liking and am very grateful for all the women who have whether they know it or not acted as my minder. I’ve given it the title Distractions I hope you enjoy the read.

Distractions

It’s midnight she stands at the stop

waiting for the late bus

she makes no fuss

praying it will turn up soon

she is joined by a group of girls

who must have been on a round the world alcohol trip

as they hold on to each other for fear of death

or worse falling over in six inch heels

she would never have the confidence to walk in

she makes no comment but wonders

how any girl could dance in those shoes

she keeps her views to herself

they are doing no harm

if anything she’s glad they are there

it they who are getting the stares

from certain types of lads

the type who would glare at her

fuelled by testosterone fuelled courage

mammy’s boys on the hunt for mother figures

the girls snigger at these guys

who think there ideal candidates to marry

or even just to take a lassie home for a shagging

neanderthals who would normally call her tranny

ignore her to look at what they see as the younger prizes

as she looks to the sky

she thanks god for such welcome distractions

and the powers of silence and smiles

Letters

This poem illustrates one of my most vivid memories from my childhood which streched in to my teenage years. In it I recall how my maternal gran loved receiving letters from her sister in Canada. However it also relates a piece of family history which my gran shared with me which to this day is never widely known about by any surviving relatives and wasn’t even known to her youngest daughter namely my mother. The story tells not only of my gran’s joy at receiving the letters from her sister but the heartbreak which lay behind her move across the Atlantic. I’ve given it the title Letters I hope you enjoy the read

Letters

In her eighties my gran received letters

communication from a sister

who had left for Canada

six decades earlier

at a time when a Scotland was more puritan

than the country we know as home

my Gran never thought of emigration

when she talked of Chrissy

she said that her mother claimed

she had been banished to the colony

to save her soul from Satan

and the shame of having a bastard wean

in a good protestant family

in a privite moment she said

her dad had wanted his lassie to stay

but his ‘wife’ was having none of it

boasting that in her Londonderry

good protestants didn’t have sex for the fun of it

they did what they did to produce obedient children

loyal to kingdom and crown

knickers never came down

for thorns to be planted in the garden

this lack of compassion

hardened my gran’s heart against her stepmother

who she always viewed as a cruel vindictive woman

and the worst example of humanity

she had ever known

you would have hated her she said

as she read the latest letter to me

my gran had family she would never see

except in photographs sent with the letters

I know how much this hurt her

she told me the stories

she would never share with others

not even my mother

judging her youngest child

as too conformist to cope with the emotions

some family secrets would raise

I remember one letter from Christmas 78

it came with two packages

one of which my gran said

I had to open away from prying eyes

it was a surprise present for the girl

my gran had told her sister all about

the granddaughter born a boy

I enjoyed opening my parcel

which contained three pairs

of the most ladder proof tights

I’ve ever worn

in her note my great aunt said

there are some things a woman knows without saying

that need no explaining

girls and women talk in code

if they want to swap stories

they keep hidden from others

now I know what she meant by those words

I’ve used it myself to protect others

in letters and private chats

now in a time of the internet

my gran would have loved Instagram

but feel that Facebook has replaced the art of letter writing.

Mother Of God

In this poem I explain my feelings of disapointment as to why women’s voices are so often unheard in the story of Christ especially in the so-called reformed tradition and yes that does include the Church of Scotland. Speaking from a personal perspective I can’t help but notice the downplaying of one woman in particular, I refer of course to Christ’s earthly mother Mary. I make this point to show the lack of awareness most people have of her. This to me is deeply concerning as I would have thought that considering the important role she would play in bringing the saviour to earth to live among us as flesh we would know a lot more about her than we do. The truth is however that we actually know very little about her and her personal circumstances or how or why she was chosen to be the mother of Christ. I have to say this is a source of great frustration to me and I attempt to address this issue as I give my take on how I believe Mary felt at giving birth to the messiah and the anxiety she must have had about breaking the news to her fiance. I then go on to ask why nobody asked her about her feelings and why a woman’s story was told by men. After chatting to my fellow fierce woman and friend Katharine MacFarlane I have given this poem the title Mother Of God I hope you enjoy what I think may be a thought provoking read.

Mother Of God

A young girl engaged to be married

you find out you are pregnant

frightened you don’t want your fiancee

to discover this news

you are scared he’ll leave you

due to the shame it will bring him

in the local community

but what about you?

does no-one ask how you feel at this revelation

do they even care

tired you decide to rest

as you do, you wonder what you’ll do next

how do you break this story

to the man you are to marry

without him thinking what men think

you know, that you’ve been up to something

though you know you’ve done nothing

you’ve committed no crime

but your troubled mind is unsure how to cope

till an angel offers you hope

by telling you not to be afraid

this plan was made before the beginning of time

as you were the chosen one

due to your future husband

being a child of David’s line

and you would be known of as mother of God

as you brought his son in to the world

to conquer death and hell

and give us commandments

by which to live our lives

yet you a wife and mother

who gave birth to the king of kings

cannot sing a women’s song

your story was told by men

as women should not speak

unless spoken to or given permission

submission to male authority

was the custom of the day

even for the mother of God.

A Snap Happy Sunday With Girls Who Make Memories

Whoever it was who said that Sunday was a day of rest obviously knows nothing about my social life. Between Celtic Connections and Spoken Word events, and being interviewed on Sunny Govan radio though that was in connection with my life as a spoken word poet, I think I’ve been out more often than in on the sabbath day this year and last Sunday was no exception. Between Celtic Connections, spoken word events and being interviewed on Sunny Govan Radio.
On this occasion my reason for venturing further than my local Morrison’s had nothing to do with either poetry or traditional music but a much more special and say girlie event. You see thanks to the wonders of Facebook and an enduring friendship with the amazing Katie Walker I was delighted to receive an invitation to the KK Snaps Big Wedding Giveaway. Needless to say I jumped at the chance and confirmed my acceptance within seconds. Well it’s kinda like my golden rule in life if I can help a friend I’ll do it and as a blogger this was far too good an opportunity to miss.

As the event was on from 12 till 4 pm I decided to pick my moment carefully as I didn’t want With the sun showing optimistic signs of at least trying to break through I left at around 1pm for the gorgeous surroundings of St Luke’s And The Winged Ox in the border of The Gallowgate and The Calton or what the more pretentious among our fellow citizens would call Merchant City East and I couldn’t wait to see was this magical day of all things bridal had in store.

To say I was impressed would be an understatement. In a beautiful venue this was a day to remember and after being welcomed by the quiter and some would say saner half of the KK Snaps ownership team Kirsty McColl I couldn’t wait to get round all the businesses who were there to support Katie and Kirsty on this most magical of afternoons.

Picture (1) Shows in big bold lettering the initials of the two highly talented young businesswoman whose passion for photography became the vision for their future success. They are, just so you know Katie Walker and Kirsty McColl. Yes I know I’m relentlessly plugging them but that’s what you do when your proud of your friends.

Just as I was about start my tour of the stalls I had a moment. Yes, you know the kind of moment when you gush like an oil well. For the guys reading this I should explain this is a girl thing and sometimes it just happens. This time it happened for the most predictable of reasons as I was spotted by Katie and we enjoyed an emotional catch up on a day that was all about love and celebrating what it brings to our lives.

Picture (2) Shows the one word that symbolises what weddings are all about. Love

Having chatted to the team it was now time to start my tour of the stalls and where better to start The Kerrigan Cake Club. The wedding cake is a very important part of any bride’s celebration as it not only symbolises the marriage but it is one of the first things thJust as I was about start my tour of the stalls I had a moment. Yes, you know the kind of moment when you gush like an oil well. For the guys reading this I should explain this is a girl thing and sometimes it just happens. This time it happened for the most predictable of reasons as I was spotted by Katie and we enjoyed an emotional catch up on a day that was all about love and celebrating what it brings to our lives.

Picture (2) Shows the one word that symbolises what weddings are all about. Love

Having chatted to the team it was now time to start my tour of the stalls and where better to start The Kerrigan Cake Club. The wedding cake is a very important part of any brides celebration as it not only symbolises the marriage but it is one of the first things the bride and groom do as a couple and illustrates the bonds of love which join them together.It also has a significant role in united friends and families as it is something which is shared with the guests at the wedding reception. It is my opinion, having sampled the wares of this company that their cakes are truly delicious and would add that special wow factor that such a special occasion deserves

Picture (3) Details And Delights From The Kerrigan Cake Club

My next stop was The Wee Balloon Company who supply all those personal and decorative ballons which add that unique touch to every event.

Picture(4) Shows some decorative balloons from The Wee Balloon Company.

Picture (5) Shows promotional material for Proform who specialise in getting our boobs and bums in to shape for the big day though God knows they would have a job with me if I ever find Mr Right especially in the bum department as bums and hips are where all the chocolate goes and I’m a wee bit too fond of chocolate for my own good. Having said that I am pretty damn certain these girls will be brilliant for brides who aren’t such rampant chocoholics.

Having toured the stalls I went over to buy a raffle ticket purely to help with the funds or at least so I thought. Believe me the idea of winning prizes hadn’t even crossed my mind, so when the raffle was drawn and my ticket was pulled out first to win the star prize of a full day’s wedding day from this was the kind of story that you couldn’t make up.

Naturally I was delighted to win this wonderful prize though having no immeadiate plans to get married I knew I would have to decline this fantastic offer though I did think about keeping it and giving it to a friend for a wedding present. This however may have presented it’s own problems with regards to what friend to choose. Fortunately I met a lovely bride to be who asked if we could come to an arrangement. Naturally I was delighted to help her out and agreed to her suggestion. Honestly she was so lovely I couldn’t possibly refuse and I’m certainly happy with the agreement we reached. The fact that she saved me from stressing out over what friend I should donate my prize to was a bigger relief than she’ll ever know. This really was the perfect end to a lovely afternoon.

As I left the venue I had another event to attend and I knew I was in for a very enjoyable evening. But no matter how good the company or the poetry was going to be, in a day which was all about friendships and girls who make memories. On what was gorgeous sunny day it was really all about Katie And Kirsty and the day they made me proud to be snap happy.

Picture (6) The KK Snaps Team smile for the camera at the end of a wonderful day.

Till next time

Gayle X