Emotions – Skirtingroundmylife

Lady In Waiting

I wrote this poem for Lesbian Visibility Week and I’ve titled it Lady In Waiting. I hope you enjoy the read

Lady In Waiting

She was always the one
to step up and do her duty
without complaint
showing commendable
restraint
as she dreamed of ladies days at Ascot and Wimbledon
respectable was her way for all occasions
as a lady in waiting
no-one would have ever have guessed
the secret she kept
locked beneath her dress

society was much stricter then
there were no pride marches or rainbow flags in her day
it just wasn’t the way of the world
but of course times change
now women love women
and girls love girls
just as nature intended
if that is the road mapped out for their desires

having reached the autumn of her years
she takes comfort in the fact
no-one saw the tears
which led to summer floods
and caused so much pain
she wears bold colours
and statement tights
they shout loud and proud
such things would never have been allowed
in her youth
she was born in a body which felt like a cage

Now she claims her stage
though it’s taken her longer to dance
as the woman she is
than it did for others
later than she would have liked
she has discovered herself
her emotional health is better than ever
she realises her truth
and it’s better late than never
she won’t be wished away
no matter the opinions of others
especially those who shout at the moon

Now she sings freely
the songs she wants to sing
she will respect herself in the morning
and without warning
kiss her girlfriend
whilst waiting for a bus
or at a picnic in the park with only two invitations
she is happy now
accepting no limitations she is proud of who she is and always has been
she needs no seal of approval nor even consent
she is content to enjoy the taste of lipstick
as she and her lover share a tender moment

this is her time to be herself
to make the memories denied in her earlier years
now smiles replace the tears
the lady in waiting who watched songs of praise
says a prayer and steps up to do her duty
singing hymns of thanks to Sappho
she breaks bread with the girls
and prepares to sip the wine.

Belle Of The Ball

There is no escaping the fact that I’ve been inspired by LGBTQ History Month, so inspired in fact that I’ve written this poem on topic of dancing especially to commerorate the event. I’ve deliberatly written it from the point of view of two mature women one of whom may be a transwoman, becoming romantically involved after meeting at a dancing class. I’ve given it the title Belle Of The Ball I hope you enjoy the read.

Belle Of The Ball

my partner birls me round the floor
I’m feeling apprehensive
she told me relax
as she takes me in hand
and whispers something io
says she knew that I was just the right type
she would teach the steps and the twirls
from that moment on
I gave her my trust
I knew she liked dancing with girls

Of course she’d been married
for most of her life
the respectable types
always are
she knew she liked women
she had since her teens
though she thought it a step too far
as she taught me to waltz
as a women should do
and to tango the
Argentine way
we kissed under stars
and got in to the grove
our desires had come to play

she told me her daughters encouraged her
to take up dancing lessons
the youngest one said she should talk to the priest
and maybe start going to confession
it’s just in case you meet a man
who gets you all excited
or maybe do what Katie did
like kiss a girl and like it.

my dancing partner smiled at the thought
as her youngest daughter blushed
I’ll just see how it goes she said
and enjoy some fun filled lust
her daughters thought that we were friends
until they saw us kiss
in ways that only women know
we shared some midnight bliss

She told them all it’s my time now
it’s time to take a chance
your dad would be so proud of the fact
I taught this girl to dance
he knew I had my tendencies
and the passions I kept at bay
he said that I should dance with girls
if that was nature’s way

As its if he was giving his blessing
she told me as we danced
she’d waited all her life for this
we had to take the chance
a woman knows what a woman knows
and she knew what to say
I felt like the belle of The ball that night
and we danced to the break of the day

Skirting Round My Life 2021 My Year On The Blog

As I look back on the events of 2021 I have to say that it wasn’t the year I or anyone hoped or expected it would be. These past 12 months have been a difficult year for us all and this continues to be reflected in Skirting Round My Life as it has in every blog, journal , magazine or other news outlets.

On looking at the statistics, this year has seen Skirting Round My Life on a bit of downward trajectory which I think was to be expected given the circumstances. Hopefully this will change in the next 12 months. Though that will, to a certain extent at least, depend on things opening up a bit post Covid and providing me with more opportunities to enjoy myself and post about my exciting experiences.

The first thing to say that Skirtingroundmylife gained 2, 507 views in 2020. This represented an drop of 16% from it’s 2020 total of 3,018. Though disappointed with the drop I am not in the least bit surprised as continued uncertainty from Covid19 played havoc with our lives and restrictions on what we could and couldn’t do meant opportunities for growth were very severely limited.

This lack of opportunity resulted in a very dramatic drop in the number of posts in the last twelve months as they fell by almost half from 98 to 50. It can also be said that the number of both visitors to the site and comments on posts are both down with the later dropping from 28 to 16 and likes falling by more than 60% from 83 to 36

Topics covered in the last twelve months included Acceptance, Age, Bisexuality, Childhood, Christmas, Coming Out, Ceilidhs, Concerts, Covid19, Crossdressers, Dancing , Dating, Death, Discrimination, Equality, Faith, Fashion, Friendship, Grandparents, Holidays, Lockdown, Love, Memories, Mental Health, Poetry, Relationships, Secrets, Sensuality, Sex, Sexism, Sexuality, Stereotypes, Transition, Transphobia, Visibility, Women,

2021 again saw a slight dip in my global reach as visiting nations were slightly down from 31 in 2020 to 27 last year. The top five countries were UK , USA, Ireland, Germany and Finland, with Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Guernsey, and Sweden. making up the top ten. There were also readers from countries including France, Croatia The Philippines, Denmark, Colombia, Peru, Norway, India, and Poland amongst other nations who paid this a visit

As all the statistics have now properly evaluated it is time to bring this review to its conclusion but before I do so I just want thank all my readers. Whether you subscribe to the site or read the posts on social media sites like Facebook or Twitter it doesn’t really matter, the main thing is that you read them and find them entertaining, enjoyable , thought provoking and maybe in some cases challenging. I really hope you’ll continue to do so as that’s what makes blogging so enjoyable for those us who put our opinions out there on the blogosphere for you to read. So all that remains is for me to wish you A Happy, Successful, and Peaceful New Year and I hope you’ll keep skirting round my life throughout 2022 and beyond .

Till next time

Gayle X

Sunset Years

This is my new poem on the topic of ageing I’ve given it the title Sunset Years I hope you enjoy the read.

Sunset Years

When the envelope arrived
in the morning post
I was hit by a bolt from the blue
I turned white as a ghost
as my travel card came with no date by which to renew
It dawned on me I’m a old girl now
but I won’t be held hostage to fears
this is my journey
to make my time mine
It’s the start of my sunset years

Now alas my new card
had no sign for companion
so I paused for a moment to think
I had dreamed of the day I’d go back to the dancing
as my face turned a bright shade of pink
it was time to get my big girl pants on
a time to accept my reality
well look at Madonna
she’s older than me
and she’s always prepared for new challenges.

If I could just be more like her
you never know who I’d impress
I really must stop being frightened of fate
and be open to what it suggests . well I’ll show I’ve still got it
in my little black dress
and that fishnets look good on my legs
they’ll be no second prizes for me anymore
all I ask is a little respect

so it’s time to make my sixties swing
and let my dreams run riot
It’s ballroom not clubbing
that’s that’s this woman’s thing
and I’m not in the mood to be quiet
not for me the easy choice
I’ll raise my hemline and my voice
well it’s my life and I’ll enjoy
the days of my sunset years.

Night Owl

In this my first poem of 2022, I look at the potential for romance for older transwomen or as I prefer to call us transwomen of a certain age. I was inspired to write it after a chat with Ailie Wallace after enjoying a recent flirtation with a friend that made me examine society’s attitudes to sex and older people. It’s titled Night Owl . I hope you enjoy the read.

Night Owl

She knows the magic of the night
the time when stars dance around the moon
like women do round our handbags
dressed in her finest gladrags
she applies her make up
the perfect finishing touch
for a woman who accepts the fact she is no spring chicken
nor is the partner she’ll be dating
but is claiming this time as her time
to do as she wishes
she may shock a few onlookers
as she goes to venues
where women of her generation
are too often afraid to venture
let alone be seen on the dancefloor
she is not content to leave such pleasures to the young
women of her age deserve to have fun
and she intends to do just that
the night owl in her mini skirt
defying the rules of age
she had been taught to be obedient
and saying yes to embracing the chance
denied her in her teenage years
as stars dance round the moon
in the arms of her lover she discoveres
why the young ones say they never feel the cold

Taxi For Covid

As we get ready to celebrate as best we can, our second Christmas of the pandemic this poem let’s you know what I’d like to order from Santa and that’s why it’s titled Taxi For Covid. I hope you enjoy the read.

Taxi For Covid

From nowhere dark clouds
blacked out light from our lives
we were told to stay home
not to panic buy essential stuff
to venture outside only when we absolutely must

This invisible threat was new to us
a modern day plague swept across borders
changing the established order
forcing us to challenge ourselves
in to finding new ways of doing things
we would never have thought of before

We couldn’t ignore it
though elites did their best to wish it away
homes became our workspace
and classrooms for those in education
we sought inspiration in new ways
during difficult days in an uncertain world
we learned new skills
as technology helped us to see
the friends and family
we weren’t allowed to visit in real time

The internet was our saviour
patterns of behaviour changed
and almost everything moved online
this might have worked for some
but one size didn’t fit all
as many longed for the day
they could to go to the football, the shops or the pub

Meanwhile Zoom was our nightclub , our concert our spoken word gig,
our shared social space
till we waited for the darkness to lift
along with our spirits
when news of a vaccine arrived

Now we’ve survived the worst of the storm
these unforeseen events always bring
though we’re not quite out of the woods just yet
chaos will tempt us by offering just one last dance
before departing to his fate

it is up us to politely decline his request
or be more assertive if required
in telling this nightmare we don’t desire his company
then send him on his way
as we get that shot in the arm
and order a taxi for Covid

Selfie Queen

This poem is probably one of the most personal ones I’ve ever written. It recalls a childhood memory from my primary school years and shows just how far I’ve come in the time since I was afraid to show myself in my class photograph. It was recently published in the Wee Dreich 5 anthology and it’s titled Selfie Queen I hope you enjoy the read as much as the young female footballer who encouraged me to write it.

Selfie Queen.

School Photograph
primary years
in the summer of 72
cloudless skies
disguise one child’s inhibitions
sitting in the front row
their face is hidden
from the camera
as friends and classmates smile
who knew the boy
ashamed to be seen
in a childhood memory
would in later years become a selfie queen
and share her new pictures on Instagram

Fetish Nights

In this poem I travel back in time to the mid to late 1990’s when I was still very much in the closet and finding my feet in the LGBT scene. In those days being a trans woman was a very difficult shift you had to be a very discreet in the way you went about things and finding where you could be yourself wasn’t always easy. It was a challenging environment l to come out in but if there was one place I found acceptance it was in the underground music scene and in particular Fetish Nights. This was my safe space where nobody ever judged me where anything went as long as it wasn’t harming anyone. This poem is my tribute to those carefree nights and occasional days where I was given the chance to be me. I’ve titled it Fetish Nights I hope you enjoy the read.

Fetish Nights

It was once a month in the early years.
I crossed the lines of respectability.
If only my mother had known.
she could have saved me from myself
and my sinful desires.
the fires of hell consumed my soul
out of control. I knew
the names of my demons
lust and passion can and do
make slaves of us all.
when nature calls you realise
you have to do what you do
man or woman it made no difference to me
I decided to do what I’d do with whoever I pleased
and they weren’t the only ones doing the teasing
they were able to please me
when I was in the mood for pleasure
that’s what I loved about fetish nights
nobody judged you, nobody cared
who you were or what you wore

Stirrings

In this poem which I’ve titled Stirrings I look at how the teenage trans girl of the mid to late 70’s learned from the music of the original disco queen Donna Summer that even trans girls can be bisexual and how I managed to embrace this side of myself without ever revealing it to anyone. I hope you enjoy the read.

Stirrings

It was Donna Summer who confirmed
my attraction to women
I knew had stirrings
Since the day I looked at Marie
as well as her brother
You know from America’s first musical family
I was at what my mother called a dangerous age
Questioning my sexuality was according to her logic
The kind of thing movie stars got paid to do
But it wasn’t real life Hollywood wives she said
Had far too much fun and got way too much sex
Without having to face the responsibility
Of the women and girls she knew
If she thought that society shared her view
On these topics boy was she in for a shock
The truth is I was ready to rock her world
To its very foundations
I experienced tingling sensations
Beyond both her imaginations and comprehension
I was open to suggestions and invitations from all
I would answer nature’s call
In whatever way it called me
I fancied Donny And Marie but it wasn’t till Donna came along
I knew I felt love for them both and realised
How unkind some choices can be.

Thunder Clouds

In this poem for National Coming Out Day I relate the story of knowing I didn’t fit in to the gender box society had selected for me before my age even reached double digits and being smart enough to know what to say and what not to say in those socially conservative times. I also suggest the knowledge gained in my pre teen years may have made my teenage years a lot safer and easier to navigate than may otherwise have been the case. I’ve given it the title Thunder Clouds due to the nature of my Presbyterian upbringing in the Scotland of the 1970’s I hope you enjoy the read.

Thunder Clouds

Long before the Osmonds I knew
though there was a difference
between knowing and saying .
in those days you didn’t tell the world
you wanted to be a girl.
Imagine what the neighbours would say
let alone your friends in school
it wasn’t cool to come out
or be proud of who you were
at such a young age
god help you if you said it out loud
you would either be patronised
and told it was just a phase
or warned that thunder clouds would strike you down
for the shame you would bring on the family
sexuality was never discussed
except to mock those perceived as different
and anyway you were assumed to be innocent
till at least your high school years
the days when fears plagued your teens
concerned that you’d be found out
and somehow they would know
by the way you looked
or the jokes you never told
now older and wiser you realise
there was a difference between knowing and saying
and they were only acting the roles
for which they had been conditioned
the parts society had auditioned them to play
you forgave them their sins
on the night you came out as a woman
on behalf of the girl they had never met
or never thought they had
the girl you knew you were
long before the Osmonds
and every day there after.