Lesbianism – Skirtingroundmylife

Two Brides

In this poem I examine how conservative men of a certain age react to change to in very negative ways and why this is particularly true when it comes to disability and LGBT issues. I’ve titled it Two Brides at the suggestion of my friend and award winning poet Sheila Templeton. I hope you enjoy the read

Two Brides

Tired old men with tired old lines
wearing last century’s fashion crimes
tired old men singing yesterday’s songs
as they whine and complain
on society’s wrongs

Now the world has been changing
while the angry stood still
bitter, frustrated and too old to kill
pale stale and macho
afraid to move on
they take comfort in memories
of a thousand false dawns

They exist in a bubble
where misogyny rules
and racism’s fine
if it isn’t too cruel
disabled transwomen
could never exist
they would never be fucked
with a woman like this

The news that they watch
is on constant repeat
where all women bow
at the cave dwellers feet
where the Flintstones is viewed
as essential TV
and they just couldn’t cope
with a woman like me

And I’m happy to say
that they’ll never get the chance
if I ever get married
it’s an all women dance
it was nature’s decision
it’s the way it was meant to be
as two brides kiss each other
in the 21st century

Honey And Lemon

I wrote this poem especially to celebrate lesbian visibility day. I titled Honey And Lemon and it may explain at least to some extent why I’ve always taken the cautious approach to my sexuality and why tan tights and twin sets might actually work for me.

Honey And Lemon

Purple was the colour
of the dress I wore
that night
the night I walked on eggshells
and danced on frosty pavements.
In my head, I heard my mother’s voice echo
carving my thoughts
like dad carved the Sunday roast
as you tempted me to explore the ways of sapphic desires
I was scared to move in
for the kiss I knew I wanted
haunted by shadows of shame
I blamed myself for daring to believe
you would want a woman like me
now I realise it was fear
that stopped me dancing.
I have long since moved on
from walking on eggshells
on cold night autumn nights
I have ceased fighting with myself
though I’m no longer able to fit in to that dress
I just want to tell you
if you still want to dance with me
purple is colour of the lingerie
I’ll be wearing when you move in for the kiss
and I enjoy it the way a woman does
tasting both the honey and the lemon
as the bees fly around the flowers of our dreams

Daughters Of Sappho

Recently I attended the first in a series of three LGBT creative workshops and this is the poem that came out of it . I’ve titled it Daughters Of Sappho. I hope you enjoy the read

Daughters Of Sappho

Still waters look deceptively quiet
under the midnight stars
the moon sees secrets
disguised under covers of dark two men glance
using glares as their shields of safety
and women kiss discreetly
before passion calls to nature
telling them it’s safe to embrace
we will all be conditioned
by behaviour learned at school
we girls stick to the rules
for fear of being caught,
shamed, blamed for society’s ills
until passion speaks to our hearts
then knowing the part we must play
we narrate our queer stories
letting the lunar goddess
take us where she will
as daughters of sappho
meanwhile still waters
look deceptively quiet
as hormones run riot
two lipsticks blend as one.

Belle Of The Ball

There is no escaping the fact that I’ve been inspired by LGBTQ History Month, so inspired in fact that I’ve written this poem on topic of dancing especially to commerorate the event. I’ve deliberatly written it from the point of view of two mature women one of whom may be a transwoman, becoming romantically involved after meeting at a dancing class. I’ve given it the title Belle Of The Ball I hope you enjoy the read.

Belle Of The Ball

my partner birls me round the floor
I’m feeling apprehensive
she told me relax
as she takes me in hand
and whispers something io
says she knew that I was just the right type
she would teach the steps and the twirls
from that moment on
I gave her my trust
I knew she liked dancing with girls

Of course she’d been married
for most of her life
the respectable types
always are
she knew she liked women
she had since her teens
though she thought it a step too far
as she taught me to waltz
as a women should do
and to tango the
Argentine way
we kissed under stars
and got in to the grove
our desires had come to play

she told me her daughters encouraged her
to take up dancing lessons
the youngest one said she should talk to the priest
and maybe start going to confession
it’s just in case you meet a man
who gets you all excited
or maybe do what Katie did
like kiss a girl and like it.

my dancing partner smiled at the thought
as her youngest daughter blushed
I’ll just see how it goes she said
and enjoy some fun filled lust
her daughters thought that we were friends
until they saw us kiss
in ways that only women know
we shared some midnight bliss

She told them all it’s my time now
it’s time to take a chance
your dad would be so proud of the fact
I taught this girl to dance
he knew I had my tendencies
and the passions I kept at bay
he said that I should dance with girls
if that was nature’s way

As its if he was giving his blessing
she told me as we danced
she’d waited all her life for this
we had to take the chance
a woman knows what a woman knows
and she knew what to say
I felt like the belle of The ball that night
and we danced to the break of the day

Good Girl Pants

In this poem I relate a story from my personal history which led to me seeing myself in a very different way than I had previously thought possible. As a bisexual transwoman I had in recent years become increasingly aware of my attraction to both sexes but I think I was still reluctant to embrace the more Sapphic side of my personality. That said however, this incident in which a women challenged me to consider the fact that I may enjoy a lesbian relationship and find it more emotionally and sexually rewarding than a heterosexual one went a long way to changing that perception and made me a more assertive and confident woman who is now more open to that kind of relationship than I would ever have believed I could be The fact that I am now open to love in whatever form it comes can only be a good thing for my emotional and spiritual health and that will have a positive impact on all areas of my life. I’ve given it the title Good Girl Pants I hope you enjoy the read.

Good Girl Pants

It was early evening
I think we were the only two in the bar
it’s always quiet at that time
we knew each other by sight
we got chatting about everyday stuff
the fluff of conversation
then like a bolt from the blue
she asks me if I had ever considered
a lesbian relationship
I blushed like a schoolgirl
for a moment I was 16
again
said I hadn’t given it much thought
she smiled and suggested I should
but I was wearing my good girl pants
scared to take a chance
in case I liked it
this was an invite to temptation
she says she knows
what I could and couldn’t do
but that a woman could always find her way
round such challenges
well you’re never too old to explore your sexuality she teased
I licked my lips at the idea
she had opened my eyes to a new way of loving
where I would discover myself
and take the chance to dance
and be a different kind of women
to the one who always crossed her legs
and wore her good girl pants

Payment In Kisses

This poem is based on a true story told to me by what some people would call a lady of night though I prefer the term working woman. The woman informed me that she though she had male customers she was in fact a lesbian and had seen me in certain LGBT bars. Encouraged by her attitude I said I was a transwoman and a regular at Delmonicas and The Polo. As I listened to her chat she asked me what bus I was waiting for and on telling her I revealed I was a poet and causally remarked that as a lesbian sex worker she had an interesting story to share. She smiled and said maybe one day you’ll tell it for me. That day or perhaps more appropriately night has now arrived and I’ve finally written the poem I think she deserves. I’ve titled it Payment In Kisses I hope you enjoy the read.

Payment In Kisses

I do guys but only for the money
they’ll be no Richard Gere to rescue me
not from myself or anyone else
I know the game they’ll be no risks
not tonight or any night
it’s not just the price that has to be right
I play by the rules no condom no sex
I respect myself more than you think
there is no kissing and no intimacy
I save that for my girlfriend
yes it’s true I’m a lesbian
I do men but only for money
my woman knows that blow jobs
aren’t my scene and never will be
she knows what colour of lingerie
I like
and excites me when I wear it
what we have is something no man
can provide
and believe me we aren’t willing to share it
I can take up to10 men every night
and give them what nice girls won’t
they think they can turn me on but they don’t
and she can thrill me in ways no guy could
trust me she’s good and she knows how to start a party in my pants at very short notice
if only my regulars knew what me and my woman do
they’d be shocked and very possibly amazed
they’d be really envious that she doesn’t have to pay
no she doesn’t have to pay
she’ll never have to pay except in kisses.

A Walk In Your Way

As this is bisexual awareness month I’ve decided to explore the more exclusively female side of my sexuality in this poem which I’ve titled A Walk In Your Way I hope you enjoy the read

A Walk In Your Way

As she sees your smile
she dreams you’ll be the one
to tempt her to taste
what others say she musn’t
she’ll wiggle as she goes to the bar
in the hope that you’ll feel the same longing she does
and give her a chance to dance
acting coy she doesn’t usually
make a move
yet with you she decides to take
the risk
move in for the kiss
to let you know she likes you
secretly hoping that you will show her how
to make the best of her
transwomen’s life
let her know what a women’s love feels like
taking her for a walk in your way
with all the glory and pain
it will bring to her world
always the optimist and hopeless romantic
she will enjoy the sunny days
when you kiss on the beach
wearing matching bikinis
and the storms where you shelter each other from the worst of humanity
a bisexual transwoman she may be
but like any girl love and acceptance
are all she really wants
she knows her secret and has
haunted by the fear of it
all the days of her life
she has prayed for this night
it feels right and she knows
you will take her to places
she has only dared to dream about
when no longer able to fight the fires
she surrenders to wanton desires
and the girl she has always been
screams yes as her dress drops to the floor
as she melts at the sight of your smile
when two hearts come together as soul mates

Duality

This poem is one of a number I’ve written recently on the theme of music. In this case I look at the traditional music scene which has always been a big part of my life and in particular I look at the Bohga Frois which though a relatively new addition to the Celtic Connections Calender is I think an event of huge cultural significance. I make this statement because since it’s inception on the last night of the 2019 festival this groundbreaking event has given a voice to the LGBT musicians and our ailies. To have this voice recognised within the traditional music community which has been known to be both socially and culturally conservative is a great step forward for LGBT musicians and let the world know that the myth which says you can’t be LGBT and Trad is exactly that, a myth. It is with this in mind that I have given it the title Duality as it shows that you can belong to both communities and be equally proud of them. I hope you enjoy the read.

Duality

It’s the last night of Celtic Connections
the cold wind perfumes the winter air
in the concert hall, as Danny Kyle smiles on a new generation of talent
I head to the Strathclyde Suite
to sign off the year at an LGBT night
it feels right to be in harmony
with my community, identity, and sexuality
my duality blends well on the night I see friends
in the crowd and on stage
make new ones from audience and cast
it is a night of joy and laughter
and occasionally tears
when free from fears and the narrow constraints of closets
musicians can be honest with themselves
in ways unthinkable just a few years ago
in what was and to some extent still is
a traditionally conservative culture
now however, times are changing
being LGBT is no longer thought of as a strange kind of love
nor should it be it’s part of who we are
and the acceptance of friends
has made navigating this journey
easier than once was the case
we are no longer the black sheep
the family disgrace
and women like me are accepted as woman
with no questions asked
protective masks are removed
in this the safest of spaces
where we can enjoy the comfort
of winter rainbows
without worrying about what others will say
we can come out to play
dressed in our Sunday best
to enjoy our music with our friends
and dance a final night ceilidh
as midnight stars light the Celtic skies