Language Of The Times

In this poem I travel back to the mid to late 1970’s as I look at why my youth was a challenging time for a trans teen who knew I was but also know what the world could and couldn’t accept as I reluctantly played by the rules. I’ve titled it Language Of The Times I hope you enjoy the read

Language Of The Times

In the 70’s tough talk was
the language of the times
my dad called me half pint
I think he must have known
all was not as it seemed
for a troubled teen tormented by biology
liking things I wasn’t supposed to like
wearing tights and frilly knickers under trousers
would make a social leper of me
to testosterone fuelled boys
who enjoyed teasing anyone who didn’t fit the bill

I got on better with girls
and was more at home
in secretarial studies
than woodwork or technical drawing
and knew the value
of accessorising lingerie
long before I was allowed to wear anything flattering.
my mother had rules
both in school and at home
there were things that nice girls don’t do
so she told me if I wanted to live a girl’s life
then I needed to learn how to be a wife
and not be so rebellious
and yes sex which I should avoid until legally wed
even though I thankfully couldn’t get pregnant
would be sore
once a night to start with then eventually
twice a week and no more
it was a duty to be endured not a pleasure to be enjoyed
as for my teens there would be no kissing boys
as it would interfere with homework and studies
and time to read women’s magazine
to teach me what I needed to be taught

not that such chances ever came up in those days
when songs of praise was her idea of Sunday night TV
well there was one boy in my class I really liked
though I never got the chance to invite him to dinner
at least he was spared the ordeal
of meeting the family
in the days when sexuality was never discussed
but I blushed on seeing the Bay City Rollers on top of the pops.

the I like them because they’re Scottish
never did quite wash
especially so soon after loving the Osmonds
and the dad who called me half pint
knew more than he let on
though he never teased me about my taste
or asked what one I fancied
he knew a lady never tells
even years later there are certain things a woman keeps to herself
or only shares with girls
and what happened at the high school disco
will remain a secret between her and the boy
with whom she shared that special moment
I know she will take to the grave

© Gayle Smith 2020

The Mask Of Radicals

Sometimes in life there are no words to describe how you feel when it comes to a particular issue. This was certainly the case with me when I heard that an SNP convenor of one of the Scottish Parliament’ s most important committees had invited a notorious transphobic bigot to speak to the Scottish Parliament on her concerns regarding the potential reform of the Gender Recognition Act. This to me is an appalling decision which needs to be withdrawn with immediate effect especially since the person concerned has actually been banned from Twitter due to hate speech. I honestly never believed the party of which I am a member and have been a lifelong supporter would be stupid enough to make such a repulsive decision and believe me to say I am angry about this is putting far milder than I really want to. It is for this reason this poem had to be written I have given it the title The Mask Of Radicals I hope you enjoy the read.

The Mask Of Radicals

Alarm bells ring in my head

when invitations are sent

to known transphobes to give them a platform

to spread the language of malice

through ignorance and fear

as clear blue skies turn gray then crimson

I am incandescent with rage

at these people being given a stage

from which to spew their second rate bile

as masks slip and snarling lips

reveal a truth they cannot disguise

I make a mockery of their lies

by asking a searching question

I won’t allow them to escape

why is it only transwomen

your pack of wolves go after ?

It is with bafflement hurt and anger

I haven’t felt since Thatcher

and the days of clause 28

I see media hype turn to hate

invitations like this should never be granted

I am less than enchanted

with such discourse being given an airing

we are supposed to be a caring society

where there is no place for anyone

who treats the trans community with contempt

now I respect the vast majority of people

have the right to hold their own views

and believe what they will

but none of this poisonous ilk

should ever be allowed in our country

this is ugly politics wearing the mask of radicals

such fanaticism is not wanted

in Scotland or anywhere else

we need to respect ourselves and others

if we are ever to build

the inclusive society to which we aspire

or our deeds will eventually

expose us as a nation of liars

we have to do better than this

we need to talk about gender

we need to say we will never surrender to prejudice

and let those who do know the truth of our values

as we explain that some walls cannot be breached

and that hate speech and transphobia

have no place in our land now or ever

this invite was not clever

and should have been rescinded in an email which stated

we have no room for hatredl

in the parliament our people built

in the name of equality and fairness

we demand no less in the name

of those we remember every 20th of November

who died for the right to be themselves

© Gayle Smith 2019