Stacey McFarlane – Skirtingroundmylife

Skirting Round My Life 2021 My Year On The Blog

As I look back on the events of 2021 I have to say that it wasn’t the year I or anyone hoped or expected it would be. These past 12 months have been a difficult year for us all and this continues to be reflected in Skirting Round My Life as it has in every blog, journal , magazine or other news outlets.

On looking at the statistics, this year has seen Skirting Round My Life on a bit of downward trajectory which I think was to be expected given the circumstances. Hopefully this will change in the next 12 months. Though that will, to a certain extent at least, depend on things opening up a bit post Covid and providing me with more opportunities to enjoy myself and post about my exciting experiences.

The first thing to say that Skirtingroundmylife gained 2, 507 views in 2020. This represented an drop of 16% from it’s 2020 total of 3,018. Though disappointed with the drop I am not in the least bit surprised as continued uncertainty from Covid19 played havoc with our lives and restrictions on what we could and couldn’t do meant opportunities for growth were very severely limited.

This lack of opportunity resulted in a very dramatic drop in the number of posts in the last twelve months as they fell by almost half from 98 to 50. It can also be said that the number of both visitors to the site and comments on posts are both down with the later dropping from 28 to 16 and likes falling by more than 60% from 83 to 36

Topics covered in the last twelve months included Acceptance, Age, Bisexuality, Childhood, Christmas, Coming Out, Ceilidhs, Concerts, Covid19, Crossdressers, Dancing , Dating, Death, Discrimination, Equality, Faith, Fashion, Friendship, Grandparents, Holidays, Lockdown, Love, Memories, Mental Health, Poetry, Relationships, Secrets, Sensuality, Sex, Sexism, Sexuality, Stereotypes, Transition, Transphobia, Visibility, Women,

2021 again saw a slight dip in my global reach as visiting nations were slightly down from 31 in 2020 to 27 last year. The top five countries were UK , USA, Ireland, Germany and Finland, with Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Guernsey, and Sweden. making up the top ten. There were also readers from countries including France, Croatia The Philippines, Denmark, Colombia, Peru, Norway, India, and Poland amongst other nations who paid this a visit

As all the statistics have now properly evaluated it is time to bring this review to its conclusion but before I do so I just want thank all my readers. Whether you subscribe to the site or read the posts on social media sites like Facebook or Twitter it doesn’t really matter, the main thing is that you read them and find them entertaining, enjoyable , thought provoking and maybe in some cases challenging. I really hope you’ll continue to do so as that’s what makes blogging so enjoyable for those us who put our opinions out there on the blogosphere for you to read. So all that remains is for me to wish you A Happy, Successful, and Peaceful New Year and I hope you’ll keep skirting round my life throughout 2022 and beyond .

Till next time

Gayle X

Sexism In The City

This poem came out of a conversation on feminism with the traditional musican Siobhan Wilson. During our chat I shared a story from my past to show that even as a transwoman I had experienced sexism. Well that story has now turned into a poem and at the suggestion of my friend Stacey McFarlane I’ve titled it Sexism In The City. I hope you enjoy the read.

Sexism In The City

It was the winter of 98
I had one foot out the closet door
just a few weeks before that night
I in my pre transitioned state
was refused entry
to a city centre nightclub
but this time things would be different
it was the run up to Christmas
and one of my pals
invited me out on a girls night
naturally I said yes
and all dolled up in a long bob
red sparkly dress , glossy tights, and knee length boots
I knew how good I looked
and how confident I felt
it was like butter wouldn’t melt
well what the hell it was the season to be jolly and glam
as I danced in the club to I am what I am
and I am woman hear me roar
I reflected how easily I walked through the door
as I passed the same guy
who a few weeks earlier had refused me admission
I began to see the world
in a very different light
and understand why
to some guys especially caveman types
the dress code actually matters
as would be patter merchants
leared at the length of our dresses
and I got my first taste
of sexism in the city.

Women Of Wisdom (A Poem For International Women’s Day ).

I wrote this poem on International Women’s Day to celebrate some of the best women I know or have ever known. These women come from all walks of life from family to football, from poetry to politics, but make no mistake they have earned there place in this poem which I have titled Women Of Wisdom and by the end of it I think you’ll know me a lot better than you already do even if you’ve known me for years. I hope you enjoy the read.

Women Of Wisdom (A Poem For International Women’s Day )

My maternal gran
left school at the age of nine
having learned all she was allowed
she was proud to be red Jess
a woman who fought for equality
in the years between the wars
with the banner of justice held high
for the Scotland of MacLean

my paternal gran made enough soup
to feed the close
and brought her children up
in the faith of our fathers and theirs
she taught them the value
of sharing what they had
and being glad for the grounding they received
in doing whatever they could do help others

my auntie Helen was my mum’s older sister
she moved to Manchester during the war
to work in munitions
eventually agoraphobia would keep her prisoner
in the home she seldom left
and hardly ever stopped cleaning

my mother worked in engineering
as an inspector Clouseau had nothing on her
never missing a trick
when it came to keeping me in line
even if it was a struggle to deal
with a bolshie trans daughter
who had very definite opinions on almost everything
and wasn’t afraid to tell you
exactly what they were and why
she held those beliefs

Mrs Dowling was the English teacher
who opened my eyes to the world
as she taught me the meaning of poetry
introducing me to Lochhead and a world beyond Burns
where women’s voices were
not only listened to but respected
for what they had to say and stories only they could ever tell

Margo was my earliest political heroine
a woman of independent mind
her fight for Scotland’s independence
inspired the teenaged me
to campaign for freedom and fairness
as I continue to do to this day
in honour of the legacy that inspired generations
to believe we could do better

Fiona was the artistic director
who helped me to express myself
during workshops in the Gallowgate
then eventually on stage
inducting me in the ways of theatre and especially voice projection
for maximum power and effect

Janette is the flatmate and friend
who knows both my weaknesses and strengths
though sometimes I don’t think
she knows her own
especially her good points
of which she has more than a few
though supporting a team in light blue may not be one of them

Sam would disagree with that last comment
and get away with it
well she plays for that team
I am trying so hard not to mention
creative licence means it’s not always easy to avoid suggesting
who they might be
let’s just say they aren’t Glasgow City or Celtic or even Partick Thistle
and blow the whistle now
before some people see their name
through my carefully constructed disguise

Ailie is always there when required
a friend who encourages me
to aim higher in every possible way
shoot for the stars every day
and accept myself for who I am
embracing my identity without compromise
to please the opinions of those
who’ll never really matter

Stacey is the superstar stylist
who tries to find bargains
to flatter my figure on a budget
I don’t know how she does it
I only know that she does
she never gives up
till I’m looking my best
and I really am dressed to impress

Pamela was and still is the writing mentor
who initially nurtured my creativity
persuading me to test my ability
in ways beyond what I thought was possible
preparing me for leadership
and the day I would mentor others

Lesley discovered the power of a women’s collective
to put this in perspective
we were fierce in our words and in our friendships
self censorship was not allowed
we were women and as a transwoman I was proud to be included
with these women of wisdom

Leanne has a vision of a kinder world
where poverty no longer exists
her christian faith by which she lives the rock of principled beliefs
for a woman of the book

Patricia plays the flute
schooling future generations to do the same .
to be proud of their tunes and their heritage
and not let a beautiful instrument be tainted
by those who scar the summer
when puppets march in malice

Laura is a fiddler known in her field
as one of brightest stars
in the traditional music community
an ally to others who need support
in personal battles
she has always championed the rights
of those who need lights shone
to navigate safely to the shore

Rachel sings and writes songs
on environment , community , and belonging
with a warmth that makes you want
to listen
to both the lyrics and the melodies
as it establishes connections
between audience and performer
whilst stilling the souls
of those who see her concerts

Hayley is a gifted footballer
standing tall as any man
who has ever played the game
she works in the caring profession
as women players don’t get
the fame their talents deserve
not in this country at least not yet
a star both on and off the park
she’s a team player who always hits the net
when it comes to supporting friends

Jen is much more than a co-host for our event
a loyal friend she is blessed with kindness and compassion
and editing skills beyond my reach
a double act was born on discovering
we shared a passion for the craft
now we support each other to express ourselves without inhibitions
as Pamela’s prediction is fulfilled
and having come full circle
I am the one doing the mentoring
she will one day give as a gift
to those who will follow the path we are currently traveling

Gift To Herself

In this poem I look at what can often be one of the hardest days a transwoman or indeed any trans person can ever face and that’s their first Christmas with the family. This is a day which is often fraught with difficulties and needs to be handled with care and sensitivity to ensure all goes as well as it can in the circumstances particularly if it is also the day when the family and friends find out the name their relative has chosen to be known by. I’ve given it the title Gift To Herself I hope you enjoy the read.

Gift To Herself

Aprenhensive she expected
stares, glares, and growls
when she wore her dress to dinner
that her mother said was unfit to be seen
in front of the queen on this day of all days
like the monarch had a direct satellite
in to their front room
as if she watched her dad carve the turkey
before starting the same tired old speech
to those who could be bothered to listen
her dad was fine though , kissing her cheek on arrival
for his daughter’s first Christmas
with the family
he made it clear neither her transition
nor her sexuality was to be discussed
other relatives blushed maintaining an awkward silence
as the stuffing was passed round the table
she wore her best smile to mask
the nerves the occasion demanded
eventually she cracked some jokes
and others begun to understand
she hadn’t really changed
as much as they had feared
she explained the reason why
she had to take the step
and why this family gathering
was the best time to do it
well it’s important to get it sorted
before dessert
the others agreed it was an appropriate time to get it done
as her dad asked Alexa to play
girls just wanna have fun
she handed everyone a cracker
and on the count of three
they pulled them to find party hats favours and a piece of paper
containing the name she chose
as a gift to herself
to wear as her personal identity

Straight Lines

As this is National Poetry Day I thought I would write a new poem on this year’s theme of vision. There may not be a live event this year because of Covid, but a poet has to do what a poet has to do. I’ve given it the title Straight Lines and there are some titles of some my previous poems in the text as I’m sure you’ll be able to spot I hope you enjoy the read

Straight Lines

I knew from an early age
I had a stage
on which I needed to perform
to share my Spoken Words
speak my truths
let those willing to listen
understand my stories
why I hated the Tories
and loved my mum’s Lemon Dress
how the work in at the UCS
turned a primary school child
in to a political activist
who would send a Letter To Earth
and always put Tights Before Trident
a rebel I would never be silenced
or told I had to please others
and put myself last
my restless heart knew
the full mix of emotions
was a gift given to creatives
which others viewed as the curse of dreamers and thinkers
no wonder so many are driven to drink
though not me shopping has always been my addiction of choice
a poet I will use my voice to help others discover themselves
in whatever way they must
at school I put my trust in teachers
who taught me of Lochhead and Morgan
I will sometimes give trigger warnings
In case my content offends
those who live in bubbles
as my honesty may trouble or even shock them
in their gated communities
where minds are as narrow
as the garden paths
that led the privilege they enjoy
so yes I do go to Ann Summers
to buy sex toys
I thought that line
would capture attention
just remember that imagination
is the mother of invention
and creativity its younger sister
the late developer of the family
who explores identity , nature and sexuality
in ways thought knows but will never freely speak
for fear of reprimand
from a dad who wears the Clothes Of An Honest Man
and a mother who constantly complains about the Dress Sense of her daughters
even though she taught them The Art Of Wearing Make Up
and how to use words as Camouflage
to disguise what they don’t want others to discover
from my youngest years
I took comfort in books and magazines
to escape the scheme I grew up in
ignoring those who claimed
I would amount to nothing
knowing my worth
never believed creativity was a curse
or even worse a plague
I knew I had a stage
on which I needed to shine
and the girl who couldn’t draw a straight line
in her art class
still can’t
you see art taught me
straight lines
are for narrow minds
and as a poet I need to think bigger
than those with limited horizons

The Art Of Wearing Make Up

In my latest lockdown poem I explain why I may be coping with the situation better than many others. It all goes back to the council transport strike of 1975 when I got an enforced holiday from school I didn’t really want. I’ve titled it The Art Of Wearing Make Up at the suggestion of my friend Stacey McFarlane. I hope you enjoy the read.

The Art Of Wearing Make Up

February 1975
and the council transport strike
means I’ve been given
an extended holiday from school
though it didn’t apply to big brother
or anyone else in the street
you see I was one of those denied mainstream education
my active imagination meant
I was bored in the house
and this was in the days
when there wasn’t even daytime television to keep me entertained
no perks for those of us the government labelled vulnerable
to protect us from peers
though some of us like me
achieved superior grades
without breaking sweat
yet we were denied opportunities
due to others insecurities
and physical strength
was placed before intellect
as a valuable commodity in this UK
which even in the first year of my teens
I could see was being run in a way
that didn’t suit the needs of the people who lived in it
maybe this is why I’ve survived
lockdown better than others
I discovered early what stay at home
really meant
and contented myself by learning
the art of wearing make up
and how to do the catwalk
in a lilac knee length dress

Green Light

In this poem I share my thoughts on why it was important to me to go to a reclaim the night march to support an end to violence against women. I’ve given it the title Green Light which was suggested by my friend and stylist Stacey McFarlane. I hope you enjoy the read.

Green Light

In the chill of a cold November night
women reclaim our safe spaces
sending a message which says
we will not be bullied or cowed in to silence
violence against us must end now
there was power as we walked our city’s streets
and made them ours
we believed our collective voices mattered
we refused to accept anything less
than the rights all women should have
to dress as she likes
to go where she likes
without having to wonder what men say
or if they approve of our choices
we will raise our voices
to say what needs to be said
sex must come with consent
and it isn’t up for discussion
not at any time
there are lines you don’t cross
no matter how we’re dressed
we are not asking for it
we don’t want your advances
or cheesy chat up lines
we’ve heard a million times before
we’d sooner you ignored us
and walked on by
we’re not lying we dress not for you but for ourselves and our friends
we’re not Jezabels leading you into temptation
because of our fashion choices
and we will raise our voices
in anger to let you know
you need to wait for the green light
before you are given permission
to gain access to our lives and our worlds

The Boy Who Ticked Boxes (For Stacey McFarlane)

On her birthday I share my newly written poem for my friend, stylist and confidant Stacey McFarlane. As well as being the best stylist ever to grace this planet, Stacey is a constant encouragement to me when it comes to my poetry and has been known to title and even inspire the odd poem or two. This one was inspired by her, after a chat we had about her lovely boyfriend Alasdair, as we chatted I thought to myself he sounds like the boy who ticks every box that any girl would want ticked before giving the seal of approval to a new partner. Having come up with this idea I told Stacey I was going to write a poem based on what I knew of her man and title it The Boy Who Ticked Boxes and set to work on making it the best poem it could be. I think it’s a fitting tribute to an amazing friend and the man who makes her happy and there is no better day than their joint birthday to let you know how proud I really am of the best friends I’m lucky enough to have. As I’ve said this is Stacey’s story and I’ve related it in her words, all I’ve done is applied the rhymes, and the craft. I hope you enjoy the read.

The Boy Who Ticked Boxes

It’s the wee things
like making you breakfast in bed
without you needing to suggest it
or buying chocolates to remind you
of that first night you met
or playing your song and singing along
even though he sometimes forgets
the chorus
then sending you random text messages
to let you know you’re not ignored
even though your miles apart
and won’t see each other for weeks
it’s the Valentine’s day meal he cooked
at the first available chance
after being away for a while
it’s daft things he does and the faces he’ll pull
just to make you smile
like he did that night
he asked you to dance
and if you would see him again
for a proper date
it’s knowing that the world can wait
until you’ve had time to spend
with your lover, your rock ,
your very best friend
it’s the bouquet of flowers he sent to your work
because he was missing you
it’s the feeling you get
whenever he kisses you
like no-one else exists
and you’re the only two people alive on earth
if you get someone like this
you’ll know you’ve got the boy who ticked boxes
like the love of my life ticked mine

New Icons

In my latest poem I look at the topic of women and body image. Every day we face a relentless bombardment of images in press and media how they believe we should look. This bombardment is controlled and manipulated by advertising agencies by marketing and public relations teams which are usually though not exclusively male dominated. Having came up a few potential titles I couldn’t quite make my mind up as to which one suited it best so I left the decision to my stylist, friend , and confidant Stacey McFarlane to make the decision that’s why I’ve given it the title New Icons. I hope you enjoy the read

New Icons

As women we’re sent messages
of how we’re meant to look
bombarded every waking hour
with images used to hook
the gullible the wannabes
the ones seduced by stardom
who think that all they need in life
are boobs like Kim Kardashian

its sold to us in magazines
in not so subtle ways
you too can have the celebrity life
as long as your willing to play
a game of chance against yourself
and keep the golden silence
we need to see women like us in the press
it’s time to find new icons

we have to challenge stereotypes
to change the way we think
exploring ideas to take us beyond
a world of blue and pink
the revolution won’t take place
till we claim centre stage
and get the advertisers told
real women aren’t size 8

Something Old Something New Mixing And Matching Black And Light Blue

On the day of Free Pride I thought I would post a picture of the outfit I wore to Mardi Gla.

If you know me well you can probably guess that I’m wearing River Island as both my sky blue top and above the knee black skirt were purchased in my favourite fashion outlet. If I’m honest , I think they work quite well and give me a smart but understated look which as most of you will know isn’t the usual style at a pride or pride style event. Well to be fair I couldn’t go to far over the top or even over the rainbow this year as I was attending a spoken word event in Paisley later that evening so I wanted an outfit which gave me room to breathe.

This combination certainly did that and I must admit to feeling good in it. That said this is very much an outfit of two halves , and by that I mean it’s where old meets new. The skirt is one of my wardrobe staples I think I bought it in the early spring 2016 and it only cost me around £15.00. It was a bargain at the price and I’ve had plenty of wear out of it. So I think I’ll continue to wear it till it no longer fits on my hips.

In contrast to the skirt, this was the first I wore new my top. Though I bought it for only £3.00 in the Christmas And New Year sales. I managed to grab what must be the bargain of the millennium thanks to my friend , confident, and stylist Stacey McFarlane who when she saw me looking at it , imeadiately checked the size for me and said in the way only she ever can. I think you should get it Gayle I think it would look really good in the nice summer weather at Pride or the Edinburgh Fringe. Needless to say I was sold on it , well Stacey knows what she’s doing and there is no better stylist anywhere on earth so if I look the part in this outfit you know the reason why.

As you can probably see in the background the picture was taken on the ground floor at Strathclyde University Students Union. This was where the stalls were located for Mardi Gla and as an ex Strathclyde graduate from the class of 99 , it meant a lot to me to get a picture in the union before it moves to a new location sometime in 2020. Trust me when I say this is the best dressed I have ever been at my old alma mater and it felt good to be able to have that kind of confidence.

Till next time

Gayle X