Generations – Page 2 – Skirtingroundmylife

Stirrings

In this poem which I’ve titled Stirrings I look at how the teenage trans girl of the mid to late 70’s learned from the music of the original disco queen Donna Summer that even trans girls can be bisexual and how I managed to embrace this side of myself without ever revealing it to anyone. I hope you enjoy the read.

Stirrings

It was Donna Summer who confirmed
my attraction to women
I knew had stirrings
Since the day I looked at Marie
as well as her brother
You know from America’s first musical family
I was at what my mother called a dangerous age
Questioning my sexuality was according to her logic
The kind of thing movie stars got paid to do
But it wasn’t real life Hollywood wives she said
Had far too much fun and got way too much sex
Without having to face the responsibility
Of the women and girls she knew
If she thought that society shared her view
On these topics boy was she in for a shock
The truth is I was ready to rock her world
To its very foundations
I experienced tingling sensations
Beyond both her imaginations and comprehension
I was open to suggestions and invitations from all
I would answer nature’s call
In whatever way it called me
I fancied Donny And Marie but it wasn’t till Donna came along
I knew I felt love for them both and realised
How unkind some choices can be.

Dirty Dancing

In this poem which is my first of an erotic nature I take a trip back in time to the mid to late 1980’s as a twenty something explored her sexuality and discovered more about herself with a bit of dirty dancing than her mother could possibly have dreamed of , and from that day on knew there were places known to her which had previously been beyond her imagination. I’ve given it the title Dirty Dancing I hope you enjoy the read.

Dirty Dancing

There was something about Swayze
Like there was something with Kylie or Madonna
The provocative allure was there in the magnetism
Just like when the Chippendales made me blush
In that forbidden way
That I never told my mother
Yet she still seemed to know
Some mother and daughter secrets Are best left unspoken
Especially when the daughter is trans
And would have liked to invite Swayze back to her place
For a night of dirty dancing
With a do not disturb sign on the door

Playing Footsie

This poem recalls the night I got chatted up by a woman who was shall we say slightly more direct in her approach than most other women or for that matter men who’ve shown an interest in me. It was with this in mind that I wrote the poem thinking why this had challenged my own sexual identity as until that moment I had always managed to pass. (Yes I know we hate that word in this context ) myself off as a reasonably straight transwoman. You know the kind of transwoman who though she would maybe dabble in exploring her more female side would tend to restrain herself from doing anything about it. I’ve given it the title Playing Footsie. I hope you enjoy the read

Playing Footsie

Drinks for two
in an almost empty bar
as we chat about our days
and how they’ve been
I’m confronted by a question
about whether or not I’d consider
a lesbian relationship
initially I take a step back
give myself time to think
I can’t help but wonder if she is flirting
testing the waters
she knows I’m a transwoman
says women have ways to navigate potentially difficult challenges
with necessity the mother of invention
and lust it’s obedient daughter
by this time I’m lost
as I visit an exciting new reality
my sexuality ready to explore
new ways of dreaming
I imagine us on her sofa
wearing nothing but smiles and matching lingerie
as our legs intertwine
on playing footsie
having enjoyed the foreplay
I turn over and ready myself
for what this night will bring
allowing her to do what she must
as I spread my legs I place my trust
in her hands embracing my Sapphic future
before the kissing starts

When The Tan Starts To Fade

In this poem I look st the topic of holiday romances and the advice you’ll often get from your mum or that well meaning aunt or neighbour when you return home all lovestruck from your two weeks in the sun. I’ve given it the title When.The Tan Starts To Fade I hope you enjoy the read.

When The Tan Starts To Fade

Summer, now a distant memory
Memories made forever treasured

Holiday romance long forgotten
only a part of you still remembers

Surrendering to summer loving
lust and endless nights of pleasure

He’s back in Italy your home in Glasgow
you didn’t quite belong together

For two weeks temptation, bikini and mini skirt
Now the career girl in smart business suit

The language of lust takes account of no geography
though it’s too soon replaced
by the tongue which speaks truth

You may dream of Rome
or wherever he came from
but your caution and instinct meant no plans were made

You may or may not send an email at Christmas
you’ll find comfort in dreams
when the tan starts to fade

Women From Different Geographies Have Different Stories To Share

If there’s one thing I will say about lockdown it’s the fact that it has concentrated the mind of a certain wayward poet in to making more time for my writing and it’s good to see that the efforts are beginning to reap some rewards.

Since the start of lockdown in March last year I have submitted more of my work for publication than ever before and have been more published more often as a result of it.

My two most recent successes are perhaps my greatest achievements so far. This is especially true as both are all women collections. This collection entitled Lucent edited by Jo Chumas and published by Dunfermline based 8d press. 22 poets give our take to Nan Sheppard’ s Work The Living Mountain and believe me I think it’s a work we can be justifiably proud of . I am particularly pleased that my poems in this excellent anthology The Crossing which relates the tale of my awakening on realising I had to walk my own path in spite of what others may have thought and The Haunting which shows that you can’t be truly free of your demons until you acknowledge their presence and by doing so reduce their power fitted so well on the theme of sensuality. With poems by friends such as Chris Tait, Finola Scott, Leela Soma, Natalie Clark. and my Words And Music co-host and bestie Jen Hughes this is a collection well worth reading and not only reading but savoring as 22 very different writers take you on a whole range of interesting journies

For the second of my two collections I move from The East Coast of Scotland to the southern United States and as I find myself published in a global collection of 34 writers in a range of styles from esssyists , poets , and storytellers from countries as close Scotland , England, and Ireland to writers on the other side of the world such as the USA and New Zealand in a fabulous collection of women’s words entitled We Are Not Shadows which was edited and published by the amazing Hannah Fields.

In this collection my poems Little Girl Pink, and Accidental Girl focus on growing up as a trans girl in the late 60’s and 70’s before I even knew the term was out there. Apart from my own work there are many other writers who challenge you to change your perception on how you see the world on issues such as disability and race and every day struggles of women across the world.

Needless to say I am extremely proud to be included in both anthologies and would encourage you to read them if you ever get the chance as both collections focus on the power of women’s words and why those words matter as women from different geographies have different stories to share and every single of them is a story well worth reading.

Till Next Time

Gayle. X

Girl Crush

In this poem I remember the night I met Sinead not her real name that remains confidential and relate the story of the night she told me she fancied me not in spite of being a transwoman but because of it. The poem relates the story of the time she asked me if I had ever had a girl crush and wouldn’t relent until I fessed up that I did. That said I think she was a wee bit surprised when I told her it was Judith Chalmers who used to present the holiday programme Wish You Were Here at least it was until Princess Diana and then Madonna came along . I’ve given it the title Girl Crush I hope you enjoy the read

Girl Crush

Until that night I had always dismissed
the idea of kissing other women
I was trans I was never meant to be like this
though dabbling a wee bit at pride
was kind of exciting
but this was different this was a girl
inviting me in to her personal space
wanting me to share moments
in ways I would never have thought

we talked a lot about different things
she teased me about wearing frilly pinks
made me blush like I was sweet sixteen
whispered dirty secrets in my ear
about what she’d like to do to me
told me that loads of women like women like me
not in spite of it but because of it
and it’s no law against a transwoman
liking other lassies
or other lassies liking them

she asked me if I ever had
a girl crush I said no
she called me a liar and asked again
until I said yes it is
it was Princess Diana in that wedding dress
until Madonna and Kylie took things
to a totally different level
she called me a she devil
till I told her my first one had been
Judith Chalmers

at first she couldn’t understand why
but in days before Diana arrived
she made me smile
and I didn’t know why till later
when girls shared secrets we called girl talk
and trust me guys would be in for a shock.
if they ever knew what we’d discussed
as we kissed on the dance floor
and I confessed my sin to her
that in the days before Diana
Judith Chalmers was my girl crush

Country Of The History Books

In this poem I look at the theme of change and how it gradually evolves over time until you realise you live in a very different world to the one you grew up in. I’ve titled it Country Of History Books. I hope you enjoy the read .

Country Of The History Books

As the morning skies
peer through bedroom windows
many féel the urge
to stay warm and safe
take five minutes before rising
to meet the challenges
the day will bring

The birds stopped singing
before you awoke from the sleep
and the dreams you can’t remember as you munch in to your corn flakes
you see a honey monster
imploring you to buy sugar puffs
the next time you do the weekly shop

Now with make up on
you feel ready to face the world
and make the most of the day
you’ve been given as a gift
as you wait for the bus
which forgets to arrive
the radio is playing staying alive
and you travel back in time
to the days of Star Wars and Saturday Night Fever
when you were the teenager
with dreams you couldn’t share with boys

You wore a mask
not out of choice but of necessity
in the days when parades had no rainbows
and colours were uniforms of hate
as a country slept
stubbornly refusing to wake up to need for change.

Of course it happened anyway
it always does
evolving over time in ways that go unnoticed
until you look back and find the country you once knew
in history books and TV documentaries
and are content to leave it there
getting on with the challenges
the day will provide for you to solve
not to mention the risks
some of which you might even enjoy
taking a chance on
remembering that was how you coped
growing up in the scheme

meanwhile you board the bus
to travel to destinations
you could have never imagined reaching
in the land of your teenage years
contented you leave the fears
you once knew
for others to view and future generations to see
on TV and in academic texts
as you leave behind
the country of the history books

Dreamcatchers

On World Football Poetry Day I’ve written this poem on the importance of role models in the women’s game. I’ve given it the title Dreamcatchers I hope you enjoy the read.

Dreamcatchers

The dreams of the next generation
rest on your shoulders
it’s time to be bold
lift them like trophies
holding them proudly like
the glittering prizes they are
wear them like medals that shine brighter than stars
let those keepers and centre halves know
their ambitions are in safe hands.

see that tricky wee winger
that dances round defences
she needs to be told
she has a future in the game
as does the midfielder who looks forward to training even in the rain
and the star striker
who in an equal opportunities home
gets her mum and dad to take turns
at playing the goalie
it’s time to be bold
and claim those trophies
like glittering prizes
be the dreamcatchers
for the stars of the next generation

the ones who aspire to be the girls
who will make your boots their own

Secret Star

In LGBT history month I look at the relationship I could have had with a football player if only the game had been a more open minded attitude to the LGBT community in the early years of this century. As some of you may know my poem Trophy Girl told the story of the night I met a footballer and relates the story of that meeting. In this poem which I’ve titled Secret Star I relate the tale of what might have been had we lived in more liberal minded times. I hope you enjoy the read.

Secret Star

I knew he liked me
I excited him
in the way a guilty pleasure temps you to taste
I never acted in haste
though god knows
I wanted to
haunted by guilt trips
only good girls get
I crossed my legs
in as seductive a way
as I could for a woman of my age
seizing the day
and capturing the moment of the night
he knew the time was right
as he drew in closer
till finally our lips
collided
and my sexy secret star
fell from heaven
in to my waiting arms

Queen Of Scotland

I think I’m getting bolder in my writing these days. It was only back end of last year I wrote my first ever poem in Scots and I’ve now written a Burns styled poem Fae A Lassie in the mither tounge. Now I’ve attempted my first ever monologue and I’m ready to share it with you. It’s titled Queen Of Scotland a title suggested to me by my good friend Ailie Wallace after she along with my and Words And Music co-host Jen Hughes had given it a proof read and helped with the editing process . It is written on transgender issues from the point of view of a former neighbour who knew the woman concerned when the trans girl was growing up. It is a lot more autobiographical than some people may think and I hope you enjoy the read.

Queen Of Scotland. (A Monologue)

You know what she’s like
she’s always been the same
played with dolls whenever she got the chance
so her mammy got an action man
like that was ever going to work
she was born a boy
and her mammy and daddy tried
to encourage her to do boy things and she did like football and rugby and other sports
but only ones where the men wore shorts
I think she had a thing about that
especially in her teens
told me she fancied both Donny And Marie
you know from the Osmonds
her being from the schemes
yet she fancied herself as Queen of Scotland
she had some imagination
her mammy was awful frustrated
that she couldn’t be content as a boy
her dad got it though and anyway
he always wanted a daughter
and she was always a daddy’s girl
though it was a secret best kept from her mammy
as was her bisexuality
well she knew that her mother was very conservative that way.
not that she was ever a Tory
I’m just saying she was socially
traditional
don’t get me wrong her love was unconditional
I think she was just scared
and who could blame her
it was just her way
It wasn’t just the gossip from the neighbours
though that was a part of it
but it was more a fear of her daughter being attacked
and she couldn’t see her any other way
than the son she brought in to the world
yet I knew she was lying to herself
that poor girl couldn’t be a boy if she tried
and trust me she tried
cried more tears than any lassie should
right through her teens and her twenties
she was well in to her thirties
before she even tried to take the first steps to acceptance
and now she’s more confident than she’s ever been
the girl from the scheme or who dreamed of being Queen of Scotland
is content at last just to be herself