Girl Mode

In this poem I look at Eddie Izzard’s recent decision to come out as gender fluid and her desire to use female pronouns. Whilst being supportive of Ms Izzard’s right to identify as she wishes I am tired of having to explain to people that as a transwoman I’m nothing like her and never will be. To me there is no such thing as girl mode because that implies to me that if girl mode gets too challenging they can always change back to boy mode and retain their male privilege. I really am less than pleased that I have to explain that this is me 24/ 7 and I don’t swap between the two genders whenever I decide I need a chance of an easier life. To me I am who I am for better or worse and it’s for this reason I’ve titled it Girl Mode I think you’ll find it an interesting read.

Girl Mode

You can’t switch it off
and then turn it on
like a tap
there’s more to transitioning than that
though some may be content
to be a woman at weekends
it could never be me
my life is not a trend
or the latest fashion accessory
it’s who I am
who I always was
who I was meant to be
I’ve known this since before I reached my teens
my dreams were woman’s dreams
though I couldn’t risk coming out
in days when it wasn’t safe
to walk the streets
and there was always fear of attack
you were always looking back
for shadows stalking your path
laughter and taunts haunting your heart
in the silent darkness of night
or the clear cold light of morning
I endured name calling
and years of self doubt
before I was allowed to be proud of myself
this is about emotional health
It’s not boob envy
or playing gender swap
in a shop where you can purchase
new identies by the day
this is real
it’s not about the roles we play
there is no such thing as girl mode

© Gayle Smith 2021

Fashion Fanatic

In this poem from the archives I document my passion for clothes. Well as even as a transwoman of a certain age I do try to be as stylish as possible. Though the poem which is titled Fashion Fanatic is written in character and the character portrayed is entirely fictional she is based on someone very real. I hope you enjoy the read.

(Picture) A poet (me) in my little black dress from River Island

Fashion Fanatic

My friend Danielle is a fashion fanatic

you should see all the clothes that she has in her attic

the size of her wardrobe is driving me frantic

my friend Danielle is a fashion fanatic

My friend Danielle is a fashion disaster

she’s a serial shopper and trends are her master

as a true bargain hunter there is no-one to match her

my friend Danielle is a fashion disaster

My friend Danielle is a fashion addict

on Saturday’s that girl goes manic

when sales girls see her they all start to panic

my friend Danielle is a fashion addict

My friend Danielle is a fashion freak

even her lingerie is designer chic

she buys up to 15 new items a week

my friend Danielle is a fashion freak

My friend Danielle is a fashion slave

her bank account’s empty the girl can’t save

clothes maketh the woman is her favourite phrase

my friend Danielle is a fashion slave

My friend Danielle is a fashion fanatic

you see all the clothes that she has in her attic

the size of her wardrobe is driving me frantic

my friend Danielle is a fashion fanatic

Hey Danni can i get loan of that skirt ?

© Gayle Smith 2005

A River Island All Purpose Dress Is Perfect For Every Occasion

As some of you may know I am friends with the best stylist and fashion adviser in the world. Yes I know I might be biased but to me there is no-one who can come close to Stacey McFarlane in terms of knowing what I like or what she thinks might suit me.

As a transwoman I think it’s essential to have a stylist who understands you and what your concerns might be in terms of age, length size , colours, details, etc and if you are lucky you get someone who ends up knowing you almost as well as you know yourself .

This is certainly true with Stacey who over the years I’ve known her has become not only my stylist but also my friend and confident and has sorted me out for every kind of outfit from glamour to winter wear from casual to classic. So with important events to attend last weekend I thought it was time to spend the money on my River Island gift card and that Stacey was just the star to help me do it. Well

Naturally with me being me aka missy queen of sales I was in the mood for a bargain and I selected this little black dress which used up all of the £15.00 availble funding.

The fact it was the only one in my size the store had left was another unexpected bonus and even though I never tried it on in the shop which is something I usually always do Stacey convinced me that it would be a perfect fit and as usual she was right.

What I like about this dress is that it can be worn on any occasion. This is something Stacey or the golden girl as her colleges jokingly refer to her always stresses the importance of especially when like myself you are living on a budget. She is of course right and the fact I can wear it when clubbing, yes I do still do clubbing occasionally, dining out, or attending important poetry events means this is money well spent. As you can see from the photograph I wore my new dress to Matt MacDonald’s book launch on Saturday and I love that it’s both fashionable and practical in this picture I look like I may be taking the title of the Westlife song Flying Without Wings a bit too literally.

The dress is also available in Grey but I think black works much better for me and has much more of a slimming effect on my body and let’s be honest anything that does that for me has to be good for both my shape and my confidence.

Finally I have to say I really love the length of this dress. As an (ahem) mature, late fifty something whose best feature is undoubtedly my legs I love that this dress is short enough to show them at their best but long enough to cover my modesty. Well A woman of a certain age and especially a transwoman of a certain age wants to look fashionable but classy and this dress helps to achieve this. Trust me girls this is an all purpose dress if ever I saw one and to paraphrase the words of a Rod Stewart song I hope I’m wearing it well.

Till next time

Gayle X

War On Trend

This poem describes the war in which almost all women and girls will have participated in at some time in our lives. This war would make the war on terror look like child’s play and can be the difference between a successful life and social death. For those who haven’t guessed this war is conducted indoors and usually on boxing day as women and girls get seruous in  the fight to get the bargains at the January sales. This can and occasionally does  have very serious consequences which is why after putting it to the vote I’ve given it the title War On Trend I hope you enjoy the read. 

War On Trend 

I always wait till the end of the sales

before bargain hunting 

that way I don’t get killed in a crush

the rush that is boxing day morning

at the Buchanan Galleries

you can’t move for the queues 

as every girl tries to grab the  perfect little black dress 

or that figure hugging skirt 

or those to die for skinny jeans

not being in my teens or twenties 

means that though there are plenty of items to be had 

I can’t scrap for them with girls young enough to be my daughters 

forget fox hunting this is the indoor version 

this is blood sports for girls

where the trophies gained

are not displayed in cabinets 

but worn on nights out to the dancing 

or for drinks with friends

the war on terror is nothing 

compared to the war on trend 

which is why I always wait 

till the end of the sales before bargain hunting 

© Gayle Smith 2018