Yesterday’s Song

Sometimes you don’t need to see someone for them to know you remember them on their birthday and every day. I’ve written this poem which I’ve titled Yesterday’s Song for a cousin I haven’t seen in years and may never see again but she will always matter to me and she knows the reasons why. I hope she’s having a lovely birthday she totally deserves it.

Yesterday’s Song

Somewhere in the west end
my cousin celebrates
the passing of time
as the clock ticks on
this was the girl who knew me
better than I did
in the 1970’s Glasgow
which was more macho
than I could handle
at a time when Scotland was conservative with a small c
she dropped hints which made suggestions
almost like speaking in code
though no words were said
sometimes I would blush
when she joked about Donny’s posters on my wall
she would never ask if I liked him
she didn’t need to
sometimes a girl just knows
as a poet I understand the meaning
of showing not telling
smelling the coffee is easier
if you use all the senses to do it
I was hiding myself but she saw through the disguise
looking back I realise her bravery
when she brought a 12 year old a book
to hospital to enjoy
she was saying I hear you
I’m listening to your voice
this wasn’t the reading material
you would give to ‘ a normal boy’
filled as it was with pop stars , celebrities and fashion advice
pictures of dresses and skirts
and tips on how to style them
to look the best you can
safe to say it kept me occupied
long after my hospital stay
on my 21st birthday she and her fiance
sent me a card which proudly proclaimed
if you think sex is a pain in the arse
you’re doing it wrong
yesterday’s song might not sound so good now
but in turbulent times
it gave me hope
I don’t think anyone else
even got the joke
in the summer of 82
we had not yet awoke to possibilities
that we could be true to ourselves
we lied to others
just so they could be happy
but she smiled and said nothing
to shelter me from the storms
and the reactions of family, friends, and neighbours
which could have left me stranded
and abandoned by the pack

© Gayle Smith 2018

Relative Strangers

With new year comes celebrations with friends and of course the occasional family gatherings. This time of is always easier for some than it is for others depending of course on how close you are to your family and this poem is written for those family situation is shall we say a bit on the challenging side. I’ve given it the title Relative Strangers I hope you enjoy the read.

Relative Strangers

You know the type

they text you at Christmas

and on the chime of the Ne’erday bells

wishing you well

With smiley faces after insincere words they don’t mean

distant relatives they go unseen

for most of the year

disappering in to the distance

as they lack the self awareness to know

that’s where you want them to stay

from now till the day

the devil takes his own

you never did fit in to their perfect family picture

where tims and trannies to use their words

could not be allowed

but you were proud to be both

and would sooner be a trans girl than a Brit

you could never cope

with the shame of their hatred

and they couldn’t cope with you

their so-called inferior

who didn’t support their union or their queen

who at least in their narrow minds

was talk of the scheme

finding her feet in the world

developing from boy to girl to woman

achieving everything they didn’t

and claimed you couldn’t

enjoying life when they said you wouldn’t

having real friends rather than drinking acquaintances

they’ve known since school

yet still don’t really know

and the only thing you’ve grown is apart

from relative strangers

who could never be further from your heart

than they already are

© Gayle Smith 2018