In this poem which I’ve written for Lesbian Visibility Week I recall my first night at an LGBT venue and the kindness of the lesbian who took me there. I’ve given it the title Boundary Line I hope you enjoy the read.
The Boundary Line
We were students at Strathclyde
you had pride in the women you were
in the days when I was still trapped
behind pink closet doors
try as I might I couldn’t ignore desires that came from within
I called myself sinner
for wanting to go to that place
you told me you knew
It was you who offered to help me
find myself
taking me to club X on that first Friday
after the summer exams
dancing to the twelve inch remixed versions
of searching and I am what I am
helped me relax
I knew there was no turning back
I was scared wondering who had seen me
cross the threshold to a place beyond dreams
you claimed I worried too much
and blushed too easily
that nobody who knew me
would give me grief
but as for walking the easy road
forget it
transwomen are too visible
to be given that luxury you said
as a Asian lesbian you knew about that
and the prejudice I would very soon be shown
I decided to take those words
and own them on that summer night
It would prepare me for the fights and battles I would face
in the days and years to come
especially those with myself
guilt and denial are dangerous enemies
and fear and faith their best recruiting sergeants
I would learn to embrace my new reality in time
but on that first Friday I crossed a boundary line
as I passed an exam I never sat in class
© Gayle Smith 2021
Skirtingroundmylife 